Richael nif fanfiction
Richael nif the fanfic RICHAL nif was born on the fourth of july like any respectable american citizen he was a man who was cool and he founded walmart and mcdoanlds and also a lot of other thinks like he also made the lawnmover and he did cool stuff too he was the president richael nif was a respected president and he never got into any trouble ever arguably the best president to ever grace this country he was really old when he died just like every other person execpt if you died of aids or cancer or something like that also he was really good at being a person like when he built a universe and also richael nif richel nif richael nif richael nif richael nif ok now this is the fanfic part so if you are under 95 get off of this document right now so anyway cold dawn this is what our protagonist sees when he wakes up he is very hungry so he eats some bread and water for breakfast he goes to the white house to do some work and also file hs overdue taxes then he looked ou the window and saw a beautiful toad he dashed down the white house elevator and broke the shaft because he is very obese then he went to the tree where he saw the toad and the toad was like “hey beautiful i wanna have little richael nif toad babies with you uwu owo” and richael nif said “ok why” and the toad was like “sure yes no maybe richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif” and he dabbed on all the haters in hater land and soon all the hater were dead and then the toad said “i want richael toad babies” and he said “NO NO NO BABIES I ME NO” and the toad was really mad and she kicked richael nif in the pee pee hole and he screeched in a lot of pain this is what richael nif did on a daily basis because he was always in pain then he went down to starbucks and he orderred a mcburger and the cashier said “wow you are the founder of mcdonalds and you get infinite free burgers forever” so richael nif said yay and went on with his day and to his surprise there was the toad and 5 smaller ones on the sidewalk and the toad went “you abandonded your children now you must die” and there was a naruto fight and there were lasers and fighting and anime people in the background then a baby toad said “falcoln punch” and he turned into richael nif with a toad head and richael nif screamed so hard that he died and then the little toad that turned into richael nif toad said “i am richael nif now” and then he got out a harry potter spellbook and said “f r e e that spells free” and smoke clouds started to form around him “credit report dot com baby” he said and then the smoke grew bigger and darker and meshed with the sky and then he said “saw their ad on my tv” and purple and green lightning struck the white house and all the monuments and then he said “THOUGHT ABOUT GOING BUT IM TOO LAZY” and everything was on fire and he became SUPER SAIYAN RICHAEL NIF and he looked at the toad and said “i dont wanna fight you but i must and then they went to a big arena full of hillbillies in the seats and the sky was on fire and the clouds were shaped like flames and then toad wife was like “REEEEEEEE” and she morphed into hillary clinton and they fought to the death and hillary clinton chipped like 4 teeth idk and then she ripped off her own arm and ate it then richael nif said “i have won” but the smoke in the arena cleared and a shrill screech echoed through the arena and it was OBUNGA and he said “i am the immortal god of everything” and killed everyone in the crowd so the other 4 baby toads were dead and then OBUNGA said “i will be the judge” and so he judged and judged and judged and judged and then he finally said “hillary clinton you must die” and she said “no OBUNGA remember the old days just remember when you were obama” and it was a really heartfelt and emotional moment but then OBUNGA said “no u” and crushed her with his fist and richael nif said “thank god you saved my life wowie” and OBUNGA said “wow your welcome” and the world was normal again but hillary clinton was somehow alive and she was underground and she morphed into a spider with a hillary clinton head and then she said the evil phrase which was richael nif but like 25 times so she said “richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif” and OBUNGA shriveled into a prune like an old person then richael nif got the sudden urge to dig underground and he found spider hillary and they battled for a very long time and then it was election day and spider hillary and richael nif went up to the podiums and said “no u “ to each other and in the end spider hillary won the debate because why not and then richael nif got really mad and falcon punched her into space and spider hillary said “you have angered me” and anderson cooper appeared and said “hi guys i am a gay 40 year old man with white hair i am the rarest human on earth” and richael nif said “nobody cares” and then there was a mexican stand off because all of them were mad at each other and it lasted for a really long time but the ground began to shake and the earth crumbled and out of the ashes came ABERHAM LINCON and he said “NO FIGHTING I ALREADY BANNED IT” and spider hillary threw a rock at richael nif and she immediately turned into dust and aberham said “who’s next” so anderson cooper said “me” and evaporated as well then richael said “i will fight you” and aberham said “i just said i banned fighting so no fighting” so they threw down an epic rap battle and richael nif spit some bars but aberham lincon pooped some bars and totally crushed richael nif and richael nif was dying because he was being crushed by a giant gold bar so he said “good game you win i’m sorry for suggesting we fight but…” and aberham said “what” and then richael nif said “you just fought me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA” and so aberham screeched at the top of his lungs and slowly disintegrated and his last dying words were “stay woke richael nif the universe depends on it” so richael nif stole a space ship and it was out of gas so he went to bp and filled it up and also bought some cheetos and then he floated through space for like 13 days and he finally found a planet so he landed on it and there were green aliens that greeted him and one of them said “hello strange one we are looking for our friend his name is tommy and some evil people in white suits took him about 65 years ago and richael nif gasped “oh my god area 51” and one of the aliens said “pardon” and richael nif said “i think your friend exploded like 14 years ago i’m sorry and so the aliens kicked him in the shin but richael nif went super saiyan again and kicked all of them into a wall and said “dont mess with the nif or get dead” and then a siren went off and he asked a local what was happening and they said “it’s RBG” and richael nif said “what is an RBG” and the alien said “ruth bader ginsberg” and a planet shaking roar came over the town and RBG came up to richael and said “this is my land i’m like godzilla but cooler” and she kicked richael nif and richael nif said “you destroyed everything you were behind all of this weren’t you” and RBG just said “let’s just say i am the almighty creator of everything” and richael pressed 2 on his wii controller and a RBG flew back and exploded into a blue flame and a deep voice above said “GAME” and god came down from the sky and said “don’t worry my child the bad people are gone return to earth and continue life as richael nif the mild mannered us citizen/president” and god made the earth normal again and richael nif was teleported to the white house and finished paying his taxes and everything was normal until he looked outside and saw a toad staring at him and then the sun fell out of the sky and everyone fortnute danced on everyones dead bodys and richael nif said “really come on i just fixed everything” so he went to the store and bought some twinkies and threw them and the sun and of course they just burned to a crisp because he threw them at the damn sun so anyway he went down to the lincoln memorial and said his prayers which were “my lord aberham please hellp me through these times of trouble i really need some help my dude” and so nothing happened because he was talking to a statue and he was really panicking now because the sun was swallowing the earth and there were no solutions to anything so he just layed down in the grass and screamed at the sky to stop because he could only handle so much i mean i cant blame him because being president is a really hard job anyway he was running out of time and the sun burnt off some of his stomach so he knew it was getting close but it actually wasnt because he is really fat and a guy ran up to him and he said “hello mr president i need your help everyone in my house died at the same time” and richael said “sorry but we are the last 2 people in the united states” and the man screamed but the sun consumed him but richael noticed that if you feed the sun stupid and otherwise irrelevant things then it would move backwards and hopefully go back to its place so he stuffed it full of garfield phones and ikea catalogues and the sun shot backwards into the unknown and richael just said “well now theres no sun” and everything got cold and then a the moon came up to him and said “i can be the sun” so he said “ok” and it was bright again but it was too bright and it was really hot so everyone went swimming and then turned into fish after being in the water too long so basically the human race was screwed up and only one person could save it but they were dead and im not telling who because im a jerk hahahahhahahahaahahahahhahahahaha so there and there was a bite sound and they found out that a shark was eating everyone so richael nif swam into the sharks mouth and then he was in the sharks stomach so while he was in there he noticed that if you said a secret code it would let you escape so he tried by repeatedly saying “richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif richael nif” and the shark finally just said “STOP IT I DONT CARE ANYMORE” and imploded with richael nif inside of him so the shark and richael nif were teleported through a wormhole and they were just floating in space for a little bit so richael said “pajimmy pajama joe is your mama” and there was a super nova that exploded and it was really cool looking and out of the shadows in space came a warthog and it started screaming at everything but the shark ate it eventually which caused an adverse reaction in the universe and made richael nif go back to desert earth so everyone was kind of happy i guess and all the fish people were like “richael nif save us” so he politely said “im trying get off my back” and a few of the fish people exploded and there was a feast of fish in celebration of the establishment of fish land which is the name of the country that the fish people live in and of course richael nif was their president so he went into the white house which was burning down and slept for maybe 9 hours until the fish people started a riot because richael nif slept and then a genie came down to his room and said “one wish because you dont deserve three” and richael said “i want fish sandwich” which only made the fish rioters get louder and the genie said “how sickening i am a fish person you are a really bad president” so richael nif walked out the door to try to get the fish people rioters to stop rioting so he went on the elevator but he broke it already so he took the stairs and broke those but anyway he walked out of the door and then a skeleton popped out